


Werewolves with Knots

by Spacii



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Crack, M/M, Mentions of knotting, Parody
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-20
Updated: 2014-06-20
Packaged: 2018-02-05 10:40:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 748
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1815568
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spacii/pseuds/Spacii
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Another day, another opportunity for Stiles to get laid for the greater good.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Werewolves with Knots

Stiles  
Do you like  
Werewolves with Knots?

I do not like,  
Werewolves with Knots  
I do not like them,  
Mr. “I-call-the shots”.

Would you fuck one  
Here or there?

I wouldn’t fuck one  
Here or there.  
I won’t fuck one  
Anywhere.  
I do not like  
Werewolves with Knots  
I do not like them  
Mr “I-call-the-shots”

Would you fuck one,  
For a house?  
Would you fuck one,  
That read you Faust?

I would not fuck one  
For a house.  
I would not fuck one  
That read me Faust.  
I wouldn’t fuck one  
Here or there.  
I won’t fuck one  
Anywhere.  
I don’t fuck Werewolves with Knots  
I don’t like them Mr. “I-call-the shots”.

Would you fuck one  
That owns stocks?  
Would you fuck one  
That’s a fox?

Not for stocks.  
Not even a fox.  
Not for a house.  
Not for Faust.  
I wouldn’t fuck one here or there.  
I won’t fuck one anywhere.  
I don’t fuck Shifters with Knots.  
I don’t like them Mr. “I-call-the shots”.

Would you, could you?  
For a car?  
Fuck one, fuck one!  
There’s a bar!

I would not,  
Could not,  
For a car.

You may like one,  
You will see.  
You may like one,  
And “make love” by the sea.

I would not, could not, by the sea.  
Not for a car! You leave me be!

I do not want one that owns stocks.  
I do not want one, not even a fox.  
I do not want one to build me a house.  
I do not want one to read me Faust.  
I won’t fuck one here or there.  
I won’t fuck one anywhere.  
I do not like Shifters with Knots.  
I do not like them Mr. “I-call-the shots”.

An orgy… An orgy?  
An orgy. An orgy!?  
Could you, would you,  
In an orgy?

Not in an orgy! Not by the sea!  
No for a car! Derek! Leave me be!

I would not, could not, because of stocks.  
I would not, could not, even a fox.  
I will not fuck one that reads me Faust.  
I will not fuck one for a house.  
I won’t fuck one here or there.  
I won’t fuck one anywhere.  
I don’t fuck Shifters with Knots  
I do not like them Mr. “I-call-the shots”.

 _ **OK!**_  
In the dark?  
If it were dark.  
Would you, could you, in the dark?

I would not, could not  
in the dark.

Would you, could you  
with the Banshee?

I would not, could not, with our Banshee.  
Not in the dark. Not in an orgy.  
Not for a car. Not by the sea.  
I do not like them, Derek, you see.  
Not for a house, not for Faust.  
Not for stocks, not even a fox.  
I won’t fuck one here or there.  
I won’t fuck one anywhere.

You don’t like  
Shifters with Knots?

I do not  
Like them  
Mr. “I-call-the shots”.

Could you, would you,  
For the pack?

I would not,  
Could not,  
For the pack.

You couldn’t? You wouldn’t?  
Is that a fact?

I could not, would not, for the pack.  
I will not, will not, that’s a fact.  
I will not fuck one with our Banshee.  
I will not fuck one in an orgy.  
Not in the dark! Not by the sea!  
Not for a car! You leave me be!  
I don’t fuck them for their stocks.  
I will not fuck one that’s a fox.  
I will not fuck one for a house.  
I will not love one just for Faust.  
I won’t fuck one here or there.  
I won’t fuck one **ANYWHERE**!

I do not like  
Shifters  
with Knots

I do not like them,  
Mr. “I-call-the shots”.

You do not like them,  
So you say.  
Just fuck one, fuck one,  
And you may.  
Fuck _me_ and you may, I say!

Derek!  
If you’ll let me be  
I’ll fuck you  
Maybe then you’ll-- 

… **!!!**

Oh! _Hnnnng_!!!  
I love Shifters with Knots!  
I do! Harder, _harder_! Mr. “I-call-the shots”.  
I would fuck you _in front of the pack_!  
I would fuck you, that’s a fact.  
I would fuck you with our Banshee,  
In the dark, In an orgy!  
For a car, and by the sea!  
It feels so damn _good_ you see!

I won’t fuck one for their stocks.  
I won’t fuck one that’s a fox.  
But I’ll fuck you for a house.  
I’ll fuck you for reading me Faust.  
I’ll fuck you here and there.  
I’ll fuck you anywhere!

I do so love  
Werewolves with Knots.  
Thank you!  
 _Thank you!_  
Mr. “I-call-the shots”!

**Author's Note:**

> For the LJ Mating_Games 2k14 Challenge 1: Fairytale Endings  
> A Green Eggs and Ham spoof.  
> I'm so, so sorry. xD


End file.
